


Bonfire Confessions

by Desirae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Cas, Boys In Love, Castiel deserves nice things, Dean Winchester Deserves Nice Things, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, NC17, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desirae/pseuds/Desirae
Summary: Prompt: 10k or less. Dean/Cas are roommates in love but kept apart by a jealous friend. Happy ending, preferably with smut. Don't care who tops or bottoms.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 27
Kudos: 403





	Bonfire Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> So, normally I don't do prompts, but it's quarantine, and aside from the dcbb and lyf's new series, I had some time lol. Anon, this is for you, hope it's what you wanted!

Castiel cut the engine with a scowl as he pulled in the drive. He was supposed to be able to park his Continental in the garage with Dean’s Baby- a shiny black 67’ Chevy Impala-, but there was Cole’s truck in Cas’ spot instead. Castiel could hear music and the smell of a bonfire, typical of most summer evenings at home. His best friend and their _houseguest_ must be out in the backyard. 

The charming split-level ranch had belonged to Dean’s parents, and when they passed unexpectedly in Dean’s last year of college, it was left to Dean. Castiel and Dean had been sharing a small off-campus apartment when the car accident that killed John and Mary Winchester happened, leaving Dean and his younger brother Sam, just seventeen at the time, orphaned. Castiel didn’t even have to think about it when he made the decision to move across town with Dean and help take care of Sam. Castiel refused to let his best friend grieve alone. 

That had been five years ago. Sam was in his fourth year as an undergrad and loving campus life, and Dean and Castiel had the house to themselves, though they didn’t see much of each other during the daytime hours. Dean was usually ensconced in his workshop that attached to the garage, while Castiel kept long office hours at the university where he taught Religious Studies. Not to mention their current unemployed _temporary_ roommate who was bogarting their couch.

“Dean, could you at least pretend to listen to me?” Cole’s voice carried from the over the strum of guitars filtering out of the old radio Castiel didn’t need to see to know was sat on their back porch. Castiel cocked his head as he made his way to the garden gate that led to the backyard and the firepit surrounded smooth log benches Dean had made himself. Castiel was incredibly proud of his best friend. Dean had taken his bachelor’s in interior design, putting his knowledge of architectural drawing, computer-aided design, textiles, color theory, to become one of the most sought after furniture designers in Northwest California.

“What? Lay off, man, what’s your problem?” Dean’s voice was both defensive and irritated and Castiel’s brow furrowed in concern. He’d only been gone for an hour when he feigned ill, bailing on his blind date, and things had been fine between the two men when Castiel left. 

“You’re my problem. It’s getting pathetic Dean. I’m sick of seeing you moping like a little bitch.”

“Fuck you, asshole.”

“I’m serious. You have to get over this.” 

Castiel quietly pushed open the gate, voices carrying louder now. Castiel hated that Cole spoke to Dean in such a condescending way. It set his teeth on edge. Castiel was not a fan of the vagabond bartender who showed up at Dean’s (their) door with a sob story about no place to stay. Cole may have been Dean’s childhood friend, but Cas was Dean’s _best_ friend and the parking spot thief was about to deal with Cas’ wrath.

“What do you suggest I do, Cole?” Dean’s voice sounded tired, but not only that, it was heavy, with a weight of sadness that Castiel loathed hearing. 

“I suggest that you get over it. It’s never gonna happen, man. It’s just not.”

Castiel felt something twist in his stomach at the words, at the censure ripe in Cole’s voice.

“Thanks for the newsflash, Captian Obvious,” Dean replied. “I’m well aware.”

“Then stop acting like a cliche. Falling for your uninterested best friend is as weak as it gets, and if Cas finds out you’re gonna freak him out.”

It was as though the bottom had dropped out from underneath him and Castiel staggard on the grass for a moment.

“You know, Cole, you’re being a dick. Cas _isn’t_ gonna freak out because he’s never gonna know. Because as soon as he walks in this house I’m gonna do exactly what I always do and paste a smile on my face. I’m going to be a good best friend and ask for all the dirty details even when listening to them makes me sick to my stomach,” the words were said viciously as Castiel slowly walked forward. It was like trying to move through syrup. 

“But you know what, Cole? Cas isn’t here right now. So if I want to wallow in misery for a few hours while he’s gone, then that is what I’m going to fucking do. I’m sorry my broken heart is so hard for you to deal with, but oh fucking well.” 

There was a roaring in Castiel’s head as he listened to the anguished words falling from Dean’s mouth. His clenched hands were shaking as Cas absorbed what he had just heard. 

Dean was in love with him. 

Holy shit.

_Holy shit._

Dean was in love with him and Castiel wanted to run inside and gather him up in Cas’ arms and call him stupid for not saying anything. Cas wanted to kiss Dean all over his gorgeous freckled face and taste his perfect mouth. Castiel wanted to drag Dean inside to his bedroom and take him apart, and kiss _I love you's_ into his skin until it was all Dean could hear. 

Cas wanted to do all of that, and more, and he would; but first, he needed to calm down, because all he could focus on right now was the urge beat the fuck out of Cole Trenton.

Dean had kindly taken Cole into their home when he lost his job because that’s just who Dean Winchester was. Always there for a friend who was down on his luck. Cole Trenton, who Castiel had foolishly told about his plans to confess his feelings for Dean, in an attempt to ‘bond’ with the man and make Dean happy. It was Cole who had told him, who had _lied_ to him, saying that he had asked Dean about them when he first came to town. Whether or not Cas and Dean were a thing. Castiel had held his breath in anticipation only to have Cole say Dean had told him, in no uncertain terms, that Castiel was only looked at as a brother.

Castiel had been crushed. It had taken a long time for Castiel to realize that his feelings for his best friend were not of the familial variety. In college, they had been buddies. They went to frat parties together, they were each other's wingmen. Castiel helped Dean get through his breakup with Cassie, when she decided she wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship so young, he was there when Lydia left because she didn't want to be tied down to one town when Dean was legally responsible for Sam. Dean had been working a full-time job on top of school, because damned if there wasn't going to be enough money to put Sam through Law School. 

In turn, Dean was the one who held Castiel’s hand when he had to press charges against his first longterm boyfriend Isham, for an attempted sexual assault. Dean was his rock when Castiel found the courage to come out as bisexual to his extremely religious parents and his brother Gabriel. Dean and Castiel were each other's touchstone, they had a profound bond that no one could shake. Despite that, Castiel never thought he had romantic feelings towards Dean. Of course, there was no denying his best friend was beautiful. Mossy green eyes lit with gold, stood out in a nearly flawlessly symmetrical face, complemented with full pink lips and a dusting of freckles that covered his whole body. Dean’s hair was a kaleidoscope of colors ranging from caramel and burnt honey to rich, dark chestnut. That was to say nothing of Dean's body, a tall six-foot-one, on beautifully bowed legs with a broad chest and a flat stomach that Dean was sensitive about because of its slight softness.

Even still, Castiel had never looked at Dean with lust, as much as he admired his physical appearance. This was the same man he’d gone on double dates with, this was the man who cleaned up his puke and sobered him up in the shower when Cas had drunk half of the liquor cabinet when he found out his girlfriend April was cheating on him. Dean had seen him at his best and his worst.

It wasn’t until his last breakup that Castiel had his eyes opened for him; that the reason why his relationships never lasted, was because no matter how close he got to a new partner, Dean always came first. Once he’d accepted that, there was no going back, the blinders had been ripped off and now Cas couldn’t look at Dean without wanting to pour his heart out. At first, Castiel had wondered (hoped) if maybe Dean felt the same way. Dean had the same luck with men and women that Cas did, nothing ever coming close to competing with what they already had with each other. Castiel had been determined to find out.

But then Cole had shown up two months ago and blew all of Castiel’s hopes away in one fell swoop. Dean thought of him as a brother. A _brother_. How Cas’ heart had shattered at the news. After that, Castiel had thrown himself into serial dating, resolved to push past his feelings for Dean, and save their friendship from being irrevocably damaged by Castiel’s feelings.

Only, it was all for nothing. Meaningless dates and hookups over the past month that had done nothing to assuage his broken heart and it was all over a lie. Dean was in love with him, too. 

Castiel was seething with anger, wondering at the motive. Why would Cole do this to them? It was obvious that he was purposefully keeping them apart. Jealousy? Cole Trenton may have been Dean’s oldest friend from high school, but there was no denying he was envious of Castiel and Dean’s deep connection. Cole rolled his eyes at movie night, he didn’t participate in Gamer Monday’s unless there was some booze involved. The truth was, Cole still acted like a freshman in college instead of the nearly thirty-year-old he was, and it drove Castiel insane.

“Did it ever occur to you to try going on a date? Maybe attempting to find someone new? Castiel sure doesn’t seem to have a problem, ” Cole said and Castiel felt a pang in his chest as Dean’s whole body seemed to flinch at the words. Castiel moved closer, watching as Cole angled his lawn chair towards Dean and the predatory look in Cole’s eyes had realization dawning. 

_Of course._ Cole wanted Dean for himself. 

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed,” Dean spat out sarcastically, and Castiel’s eyes narrowed as he saw Cole reach out and take Dean’s hand. Dean looked perplexed at the gesture, and Cas took a calming breath. 

“Maybe you need to start paying attention to other people,” Cole drawled, tone changing from mocking to seductive in a blink, and Castiel saw red. “Someone you actually have shot at.”

“Fuck level-headed,” Castiel muttered to himself as he found himself striding across the lawn and into view. He spared Dean a quick glance of apology before yanking Cole up from the frayed patio chair by the collar of his tee-shirt and punching him in the gut.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled as Cole grunted, folding to his knees. “Cas, what the fuck are you doing?”

Dean had jumped up as soon as the punch was thrown, Cas could see in his peripheral, but his icy gaze never left Cole’s.

“Do you want to tell him, or shall I?” Castiel growled, breath coming out in angry pants.

“Tell me what?” Dean barked, eyes glaring as they darted between Cole’s gasping red face to a furious Castiel. 

“I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, Dean,” Cole managed, shoving Castiel back as he straightened up, hand still clutching his stomach.

“Oh really? That’s how you want to play this?” Castiel nodded. “Okay. Let’s play.” Cas could see Cole’s eyes widen in surprise, though for the life of him, Castiel couldn’t understand why. How Cole could think Cas was bluffing after that punch was beyond him.

Castiel took a breath and turned to face Dean. It pained him to see the vulnerability in his best friend’s eyes, and the defensive stance in which he held himself, arms folded tightly across his chest.

“Dean,” Castiel looked at Dean directly in his eyes, purposely keeping his voice steady and sure. “I'm in love with you. I have been, for a long time, although it was only a few months ago that I really recognized it for what it was. I wanted to tell you, but I was worried about whether or not you felt the same,” Castiel gave Cole a sidelong glare. “ In a catastrophic error of trying to befriend Cole, I asked his advice on the matter. I figured with him being your oldest friend, he might have some insight on how to go about broaching the subject. ”

Dean’s eyes whipped to Cole’s, betrayal evident on his face.

“Cole told me that asking you out would cause nothing but embarrassment because you looked at me no different than Sam.” Castiel watched the play of emotions on Dean’s face; anger at the forefront highlighted strikingly by the flickering flames of the bonfire.

“Are you really gonna listen to this Dean? I’m your _best_ _friend-_ ” 

“No, _Cas_ is my best friend,” Dean cut in, forcefully. “When my parents died, you didn’t even show for the funeral. _Cas_ got me through that. When I couldn’t hold it together for Sammy, Cas was the one who was there helping us piece ourselves back together again. There is no one outside of Sam, who I love and trust more than Castiel, so _hell_ yeah, I’m going to listen to this. I’m going to believe every word that comes out of his mouth because Cas _always_ tells me the truth, and I am going to apologize to him over and over for _ever_ inviting you into our home.” Dean’s words were like a balm on Cas’ soul. The trust that Dean put in him to not even question that Castiel was telling the truth, filled him with hope and warmth. 

“You know,” Dean continued, “ when you originally asked if you could stay here, my first instinct was to say no. I saw the hell you put your parents through in high school, Cole. I know that you fooled around on Lisa and that’s the real reason she kicked you out. Just like I know you got fired from Singer’s for drinking on the job. Did you really think Bobby wouldn’t tell me? He’s like my second dad! “ Dean shook his head in disbelief.

“I knew all of this, but I _still_ wanted to give you a chance. Because we were pals. Because your Mom was my mom’s best friend. Because you kept me company when I had to take care of Sammy sophomore year when mom switched to the nightshift and Dad was on the road. We were friends, Cole, and I have given you chance after chance when everyone else wrote you off. And this is how you repay me? By lying to me? Telling me I’m crazy for loving someone like Cas? By reminding me that someone as smart as him could never end up with someone blue-collar like me?“

“You told him that?” Castiel started towards Cole again, fists clenched tightly at his side, until Dean intercepted him, running hands calloused from hard labor, down Castiel’s bare arms, calming him with his warm touch.

“Cole,” Dean looked over his shoulder, hands gripped around Castiel’s wrists now. “You need to leave. I don’t care where you go, just get your shit and get out.” 

“Look, Dean, you don’t understand,” Cole’s voice had gone from outraged to pleading and Dean let go of Cas to face Cole fully. Dean sent him a smirk of derision.

“Oh, I understand,” Dean arched a brow. “Cas has never been a fan of yours and you were afraid that if me and him got together then your free ride would be over. So, what was your plan, huh?”

“I know what his plan was,” Castiel’s voice was sandpaper rough as he regarded Cole sharply. “You wanted Dean for yourself and thought if you could get me out of the way, you could seduce him. You were hoping it would be too much for me, and I would leave, weren’t you Cole? Then you could step into this sweet little setup permanently. Free place to live, hot boyfriend. You’re as transparent as glass.”

“Fuck off,” Cole spat, but didn’t deny and Dean shook his head.

“What broke you, man? “ There was more pity than anger in Dean’s tone now. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Grab your clothes and get the fuck out of our house. I’m done.” 

“After everything we’ve been through, Dean, really? You’re just going to throw our friendship away?” Cole pleaded and Castiel let out an incredulous peal of laughter at the nerve.

“The only one who threw anything away was you, Cole. Own it. All the stuff we went through together as kids, the parties, the camping trips? The night with the Cartwright twins, or when you introduced me to Rhonda Hurley who made me realize that my ass looks incredible in pink satin?” Dean remarked and Castiel’s mouth ran dry when that image danced its way through his head, already going into the kink file. “None of that matters in the slightest next to how you have hurt both me and Castiel.”

Cas saw the muscle tick in Cole’s jaw, saw the way he wanted to keep fighting but Dean’s firm countenance seemed to finally get through and he backed down.

Castiel watched from the yard as Dean followed Cole up the back deck and into the kitchen through the slider. Castiel took a moment to catch his breath and take in everything that had just happened. He tipped his head up and focused on the stars in the sky and the warmth of the flames in front of him. Part of him felt crucially robbed; in a perfect world, his love confession to Dean would have included candlelight, and homemade pie, and all kinds of romantic cliches. Instead, it was dropped like a bomb, becoming the catalyst of the confrontation he had just witnessed and participated in. No matter how cool and tough Dean played it off, Castiel knew he was hurt by this chain of events and could only hope that the revelation that their love for each other was well and truly reciprocated, would be enough to soothe Dean’s heart.

Castiel jerked around when he heard the door slide open again. Dean stopped just outside the door, and for a moment, their gazes locked. Dean appeared to take a steadying breath, then jogged down the steps.

“Gimmie the keys to your car, Cas, I’ll move it,” Dean said, walking over to him. Castiel realized he would have to move his car so Cole could get out of the driveway. Cas pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Dean with slightly shaking fingers. Dean grasped the keys and squeezed his hand gently. 

“Why don’t you go on in and make us a drink? We have a lot to talk about, and it's going to probably require some hard liquor.” Dean softened his heavy words with a fond smile that reached his eyes. “I’ll be in after I take care of the fire.”

Castiel nodded, not sparing Cole a word as he sullenly stalked by, with a duffle bag of his belongings, and into the garage, through the side door.

Castiel sighed, turning off the portable radio sitting on the edge of the deck. Bringing it Inside, Castiel left it on the kitchen counter. In his bedroom, Cas tossed his keys on his bureau and changed out of his date clothes into a pair of comfortable sweatpants, and a worn teeshirt. Castiel made his way back to the kitchen to prepare him and Dean a drink. By the time Castiel heard Dean enter the house, the TV was on low and two steaming Irish Coffees sat on the coffee table. Castiel sipped at his coffee, back against the arm of the sofa as he pretended to pay attention to the Ghost Hunters episode that played across the screen. Cas’ stomach was fluttering with a mix of excitement and apprehension. He had reason to hope that things were about to change for him and Dean in a wonderful way, but Castiel also knew they needed to have an honest conversation first.

  
  


* * *

Dean heaved a sigh as he put the grated cover on the dwindling fire. _What a fucking night_. Dean scrubbed a hand down his face, feeling worn out. It was barely nine and he felt like he could easily crawl into bed and pass out. Sammy would say it’s from _emotional stress_. Well, he wouldn’t be wrong. 

Dean knew that he and Cole weren’t close like they were as kids, but he never would have believed his old friend would have betrayed him like this. Which in hindsight, Dean realized bitterly, was stupid because Cole had a reputation for betraying people his whole life. Dean’s problem was that he was a bleeding heart. He talked a good tough game, but fuck, if he wasn’t a sucker for a friend in need.

The only upside of this whole clusterfuck was Cas. When Castiel had strode up to Cole and punched him in the stomach, Dean had been shocked. But that shock soon turned into a crazy mix of pride, lust, and love. Castiel had come in like an avenging angel, blue eyes flashing with anger and wrath, and he was _beautiful_.

Dean sighed. Now that beautiful man was sat in their house, waiting for them to have a heart to heart that was going to change them forever. Anticipation pooled in his belly and Dean felt his tiredness recede to allow for this nervous energy taking over his body. He found himself grinning and he climbed up the back deck and entered through the kitchen slider. He could see the back of Cas’ dark tousled head as he sat on the couch when he peeked around the corner, one of those ghost hunting shows he loved playing on the television.

Dean made quick work of changing into his flannel pajama pants and an old Singer’s Salvage tee shirt. Dean looked at himself in the mirror and tried to smile, giving his reflection the finger guns. Dean rolled his eyes at himself; he looked like a jackass. 

“Okay, okay. Shake it off. It’s gonna be fine,” Dean muttered to himself, the little pep talk not doing anything to calm the butterflies winging in his stomach. Dean flicked off the bedroom light and stepped into the hall, affecting an air of cockiness as he entered the living room. Cas’ eyes immediately found Dean’s and he was at once lost in the deep blue staring back at him with open affection.

At once, the nerves left him and Dean threw himself down on the couch with a wide smile. He grabbed the hot drink Castiel had left for on the coffee table, and settled back on the cushions, angled towards Cas. Dean took a sip and grinned.

Arm stretched across the back of the couch Dean cocked his head. “So. How was your date?” he asked, watching over the rim of his Irish Coffee as Castiel stared for a moment, then threw his head back on a laugh, the sound of it making Dean warm from the inside out.

“Well, it’s quarter past nine and I’m home, so I am sure you can deduce how well it went,” Castiel said, eyes still lit with mirth.

“Can’t say I’m disappointed about that,” Dean said, honestly, earning himself a soft smile, one that had Cas’ baby blues crinkling at the corners.

“Me neither,” Castiel said with a huff of laughter. “So, are we go continue this playful banter, or are we going to talk.”

“Straight to the point, huh Cas?”

“You know me, Dean. How long?”

Dean didn’t pretend to not understand what Castiel meant and he sucked in a breath and blew it out in a long _whoosh_. Dean reached out and put his coffee on the table and Cas did the same, turning towards him so their bent knees were touching. When Dean stretched his hand out, palm up, Castiel didn’t hesitate to lace their fingers. Dean bit back a hysterical laugh that wanted to bubble out at the surrealness of being able to hold Cas’ hand. How could such an innocent act seem so intimate? A squeeze of his fingers reminded Dean that Castiel was waiting for an answer, though there was nothing but patience on his gorgeous face.

“A long time,” Dean finally said. “Probably junior year of college,” Dean admitted and chuckled when Castiel’s brows winged up in surprise. “We, uh, I remember we were at some party, some shindig Gabriel was throwing. I was playing beer pong with some chick and someone was doing a horrific rendition of _Can’t Buy Me Love_ on the karaoke machine. I remember, I was scanning the room looking for you, and you were in the corner making out with this girl. Just full-on, octopus arms, and I was suddenly just _so_ sad. And it shocked me, because it wasn't like it was the first time I saw you with someone else, it wasn't like I wasn't dating people all the time, but for some reason, that night, seeing you with her just… kinda broke my heart. And I knew.” Dean shrugged, heat creeping up his face under Cas’ intense gaze.

“You didn’t say anything,” Castiel murmured and Dean shook his head.

“No. No, you had just dealt with the whole April thing, and I knew you were on the rebound. I wasn’t about to be that guy. It would have broken me. So I decided to wait. I mean, I wasn’t sure if you could ever look at me that way, but I was gonna try anyway.”

Cas tilted his head, inquisitively and Dean grinned at the adorable gesture. “You never did. What happened?”

“My parents died,” Dean said matter of factly, and Castiel sucked in a breath.

“Dean-”

“No, it’s okay. I just mean, when they died, Sam pretty much became my sole focus. I had school and work and I was just kinda tunnel-visioned on that, you know?”

Castiel nodded. “ I remembered being so worried because you were running yourself ragged.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve been told I’m stubborn,” Dean quirked a smile, and Castiel feigned a shocked gasp.

“Dean Winchester, stubborn? Certainly not,” Castiel teased. “How come, after then? When things settled down?”

Things _did_ settle down. Sam got a full ride to Standford and Dean was able to cut back on work and focus on his last year of school. Dean had already started doing commissions; two kitchen tables and chair sets and a bookshelf that he sold for a really decent profit for just starting out on his own.

Dean grabbed his coffee again with his free hand and took a sip to wet his throat. Cas’ remained on the table as he quietly waited Dean out.

“By that point, I thought I was too late. Time had gone by, you were dating again and you seemed happy,” Dean looked at him helplessly. “It didn’t seem right to rock the boat, especially when you showed no sign of looking at me that way.”

Castiel inched closer, bringing the hand not enclasped in Dean’s, up to his face. Cas’ fingers stroked Dean’s cheek and he leaned into the touch with a sigh.

“I didn’t see it,” he murmured, voice like smoke and whiskey. “I didn’t see you. It never occurred to me that you would want me that way. We’d been through so much, you were- _are_ \- everything to me, but I never thought of our relationship romantically because I was already so fulfilled with how we were together. Does that make sense?”

Dean nodded because it did make sense. Although they weren’t physically intimate, Dean had always felt complete with Cas; the truth was, he could happily spend the rest of his life with Castiel Novak and never have sex with him, and Dean would still be okay with that. Though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t really want that with him, because _oh, boy, did he._ But it wasn’t a make it or break it. He would take Cas in whatever way he could have him.

“It wasn’t until Daphne and I broke up that I understood.”

Daphne Allen was a sweet girl that worked in Castiel’s department and when Cas started dating her, Dean had thought that was it. 

“You seemed so happy with her,” Dean said quietly, and Castiel inclined his head in agreement.

“I wasn’t _unhappy_. Being with Daphne was easy. She was very amiable, we liked the same things, and could talk about theology for hours. It was… comfortable. I was, for lack of a better word, content. It wasn’t until she pointed out how I always checked to see if I had plans with you before I committed to doing anything with her, that I started getting a clue. I remember, she said: _Castiel? You skipped my cousin’s wedding because it was Dean’s Uncle’s birthday party. You won’t come over on Friday nights because it’s movie night. When you love someone, they come first. When will I ever come first?_ ” Castiel laughed, lightly, fingers moving along Dean’s cheek, stroking upward until they tangled in his hair.

“It was like being hit with a truck and I felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. Of course, I was in love with you. I probably had been for years. But, God, now that I knew it? I was eager to tell you. I worried over it for weeks,” Castiel’s lips lifted in his little half-smile that always made Dean weak in the knees. “You weren’t seeing anyone and Daphne’s words had me thinking about you and your relationships, and I started to hope that maybe you felt the same way.”

“I did,” Dean assured him. “I do. And I was actually starting to think, after Daphne, that it was my window. I had every intention of laying it all out there, no matter how fucking scared I was. But then Cole showed up, and I had to adjust my plan. Next thing I know, you’re on a new date every week and I figured I imagined it.”

“Oh, Dean,” Castiel breathed out, pushing up onto his knees so he could lean forward and press a kiss to Dean’s forehead. He closed his eyes at the soft touch of Cas’ pillowy chapped lips to his skin. “I’m so, so sorry I put you through that. After what Cole told me,” Castiel shook his head. “I was broken-hearted and I was just trying to, I don’t know, forget? Move on so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of rejection?”

“Cas, you don’t gotta apologize, okay? I get it.”

“I do have too, because the pain I heard in your voice when I got home tonight was like a knife to the heart and I hate that I caused that,” Cas’ voice was rough like gravel and drenched in sorrow and Dean found himself tugging the man to him. Castiel came all too willingly, scrambling to straddle Dean’s lap and bury his face in Dean’s neck. Dean could feel wet lashes against his skin and he gripped Castiel tighter to his chest, running soothing hands up and down his back.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay,” The endearment slipped out, naturally. “ You didn’t know, and Cole made damn sure neither one of us would find out.” Dean’s words seemed to help a little as Cas relaxed against him, though his breath was still a little ragged.

“I hate that we wasted so much time,” Castiel said, pulling back so his tear-filled eyes searched Dean’s gaze. Dean slid his hands up Cas’ back once more before bringing his hands forward to cradle Cas’ stubbled cheeks.

“Don’t think like that, okay? None of what we have could ever be a waste of time. No one knows me like you do, Cas, and honestly? I’m just so grateful that we know now and we can move on from here.”

Castiel nodded, bringing his forehead flush with Dean’s. Stormy eyes locked on his as Castiel’s deep voice murmured, “Dean? Can I kiss you now?”

Dean felt himself smile widely as he nodded. “Please,” the word was barely past his lips when Cas’ mouth was on his like a fever. Dean hummed into the kiss as Cas’ tongue begged entrance, sliding against his in an instinctual dance that had Dean’s skin tingling all over. He was _kissing_ Cas. His best friend. The love of his life was in his lap and kissing Dean as if his life depended on it, like it was the only thing he wanted to do, and thank fuck because Dean didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

Castiel put his whole body into the kiss and Dean couldn’t help it when his hips pushed up and he felt Cas’ hardness through his thin pajama pants. Cas gasped into his mouth as their clothed cocks rubbed against each other, and it dragged a groan from Dean’s lips.

Castiel pulled back, his breath coming in soft pants. “Is this okay?” he asked, voice gritty with need, and Dean could only nod, dragging his sinful mouth back for another drugging kiss. Castiel rocked in his lap and Dean’s hand drifted down to palm Cas’ ass, tugging him tighter against. Dean matched his movement to Cas and laughed breathlessly against his lips when a particularly well-placed thrust had Castiel gasping.

“I’m gonna come in my pants like a teenager if we keep this up,” Dean said breathlessly.

“I’m okay with that,” Castiel growled, pushing Dean back against the couch, lips demanding as he swooped down for a wet, open-mouthed kiss. Dean was rock hard in his sleep pants and he whined against Castiel’s mouth, face heating up at the desperate sound. Castiel seemed to like it though, and when his fingers skirted the edge of Dean’s sweatpants, he nodded frantically.

Castiel raised up on his knees, enough for Dean to lift his hips and shimmy his sweats past his ass. Castiel’s eyes drifted down to Dean’s leaking shaft and he licked his lips, groaning. In a flash, Castiel had risen, stripping his own sleep pants off, before settling back into Dean’s lap. Castiel’s head tipped back on a guttural moan as their cocks brushed against each other and Dean pressed forward to suck bruises into the skin of Cas’ neck. He worshipped the man writhing in his lap, sucking marks wherever his mouth could reach, fingers trailing up Cas’ chest and plucking at his nipples. Cas bit his pink bottom lip at the feeling, his own fingers digging bruises into the meat of Dean’s shoulders.

Their gazes met and Dean was undone in by the naked love and need shining in the depths of Cas’ ocean eyes. Their lips met again, feverishly and Dean moaned into Cas’ mouth as he felt their cockheads, slick with precome, rubbing together. Dean’s hand crept between them and wrapped his palm around both of their lengths, and the throaty growl Castiel let out nearly tipped Dean over right then and there.

The more desperate their lower halves moved together, the softer their kisses became, trembling slides of lips and tongue, catching, and clinging. Cas’ hand joined Dean’s and the increased pressure on their cocks had Castiel trembling against Dean, eyes half-mast and skin sweat-dampened.

“No one should be as beautiful as you, yet here you are,” Dean praised and he looked at Castiel in awe as Dean’s words seemed to trigger Cas into orgasm; his breath catching on a high-pitched whine that Dean desperately wanted to hear again. The thick ropes of come that pumped out of Cas’ gorgeous cock made the slightly dry friction so much slicker as Dean stroked him through his release.

“I love you, Dean,” Castiel rasped and Dean was finished. His back arched as he came, jets of sticky come spurting out and joining with Cas’ between their bellies. Castiel collapsed, falling forward and burying his face in the juncture of Dean’s neck and shoulder. 

“I love you, too, Cas,” Dean said breathlessly when he could find his voice again, fingers scratching at Castiel’s scalp as he continued to nestle against Dean.

Dean wasn’t sure how long the sat there, an entangled, sweaty mess. The sound of the tv filtered in over their unsteady breaths, another one of Cas’ shows on now, something about Bigfoot. He knew they should get up, Dean could already feel their come cooling between them, growing tacky, but Castiel felt so warm, so perfect, in his arms that Dean couldn’t bring himself to move. As Cas nuzzled him some more, stubble rubbing against the crook of his neck, Dean figured they could wait a little longer before cleaning up.

“Wow,” Dean finally managed to say and Castiel started to laugh, body shaking against Dean’s.

“That’s one way to sum it up,” Castiel said between guffaws, and soon Dean was laughing too. Dean held his hand out palm side up, and Castiel laced their fingers together. 

“Dean, I’m so happy right now,” Castiel said it so utterly sincerely that Dean had to blink back the sting of tears.

“Me too,” Dean whispered, before claiming Cas’ lips in a trembling kiss.

Later that night as they slid into Dean’s bed- _Come on, Cas, it’s memory foam-_ Dean was so giddy, he honestly didn’t think he could fall asleep. Dean had gained so much tonight, despite the loss of an old friend, and he felt euphoric, finally having everything he ever wanted. Castiel maneuvered him into the little spoon position, draping an arm and a leg over him, and Dean sighed, settling back against Cas’ chest, warm and safe. Dean wanted to live in this feeling forever and he held onto it as long as he could, until sleep won out. Ir dragged Dean under with a smile on his face, and Cas’ hand over his heart.

The End

  
  
  



End file.
